She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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