Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
