I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
