ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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