I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
