it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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