NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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