we're chasing vodka with high fives
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
