I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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