man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
