So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
