What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
