I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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