Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
