sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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