was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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