My Higher Power is John Stamos
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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