She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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