Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
