imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
