??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You are a genius and a whore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
