Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
