I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
