you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
