She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
