When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize