So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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