Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize