is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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