wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
