dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
