SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Be still, my beating vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
