Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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