So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
