If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize