fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
