Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
