I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
only if we run a train.
done.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
