Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
