I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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