Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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