The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
