So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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