whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
