i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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