I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
