dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
