I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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