Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
