Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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