thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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