dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
