at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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