So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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