Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
