remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
