i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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