i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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