you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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