Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
